Relationships & Marriage

Coming clean

The Marriage Counseling has helped to restore communication between myself and my spouse by having us ‘come clean’ with our transgressions and secrets, and taking responsibility for our actions. This has helped us open up to one another, making the lines of communication flow more freely. I feel closer to my partner than I have in a long time. I believe this, in turn, will help restore and maintain love and affection in our marriage. — DM

We have a new life together

In 1990 K and I were nearing divorce. It was very hard for us to communicate without getting into an argument. A friend of ours told us about this ‘marriage counseling’ program. Of course I had no interest in this because I was certain it would not work. My friend insisted we go and drove us up. We took a couple basic courses and then started the marriage counseling. Wow, after a few sessions our feelings for each other were starting to increase. It was like all the tension and problems we had were completely gone. By the time we were done, I actually felt as in love with Kim as when we were dating. It was truly amazing. We just could not believe how good it was. It was like everything that was messing our marriage up was gone. We had a new life together. Well, ten years have gone by now and we are still in love and creating a wonderful family together. Pretty neat. — JD

Hadn’t really been happy …

Chris and I had been married for nine years and together for 13 when we got this ‘marriage counseling.’ We hadn’t really been happy since early in our dating years, but somehow had stuck it out because we wanted to be together and kept HOPING it would work. In ONE WEEK of this ‘marriage counseling’ our marriage completely turned around. We started CREATING our marriage again. All the vitality and enthusiasm we had had in the early years was back! We were physically, spiritually and emotionally reconnected as a result of the ‘marriage counseling’ and I would have to say we have one of the best marriages around today! — KD

I hated my husband …

I hated my husband. It sounds awful, but I hated the sight of him. What I used to see as beautiful, strong, and full of integrity, I now hated. I didn’t want to look at him and the slightest communication would turn to battle. I wanted to leave him and find someone worthy of me. When he walked in the door from work, we didn’t even look at each other. We were enemies and the air was thick with bitterness. Even others could feel it without a word or a look. It poisoned the air.  We hadn’t been talking for so long that we started being suspicious of each other’s motives around the house and noticed every flaw, cursing each other under our breath. And we both ‘figured’ the other thought this or that, when we didn’t! I was walking around the house arguing with him in my mind! Constantly!  I’d heard the speed in which this method of Marriage Counseling resolved marriage conflicts. But I didn’t even feel like I ever wanted to like him again so why do it? Well… because I should. I had no other reason.  So I did. A Marriage Counselor came to our home and without being affected by the awful feelings in the air, she began our session. We continued for about 5 hours the first day and another 3 the next day. After the first day, we were talking again, but the real closeness was not back yet. But we both felt it coming. We didn’t discuss much, we decided to keep things light and let the next day’s session do what it would.  And it did. I can’t begin to tell you what it did. Near the end of the session, it all came together. Where did the bitterness go and where had this deep affection been hiding? It was back for both of us really strong like a new cloud-9 love. So incredible.  After that we talked about everything. You know how when you’re first together after you’ve gotten comfortable enough to talk about almost anything? Well, it was like that only better. See, we had no urge to hold anything back. It was so safe to be completely open with each other and we were so freed of our bitterness and judgmental feelings. We could hear what the other had to say not only without upset, but with pure joy that the other could actually communicate so openly. We planned. We discussed differences and were able to come to fulfilling agreements. We wrestled. We made love really, for the first time. And we WANTED to talk! We couldn’t stop talking to each other. And after talking, we found out that most of our upsets were actually ‘misunderstandings’.
The main joy was in feeling constantly like I wanted to hold him. He felt that way too. We couldn’t pass one another in the hall without hugging. It’s been a year since our counseling and we’re still doing quite well. We want to do it again in the near future. It’s just too magical to not keep that way. We discussed how long people go to therapists for marriage counseling and sometimes do a little better after a long time, but too often they wind up divorcing. Our marriage was made new again in two days. Actually, in eight, short, fascinating hours. — TS

Arguing

I just had a big realization when I was in session with Anita. I have been arguing with my husband because of his past relationship. So I kept bringing that up to him. I totally got that handled in session tonight. What I was carrying around all this time didn’t have anything to do with his past relationship! It had to do with another incident of my past that was completely different! I totally got that handled! — TG